We all want to be loved, admired, accepted, and respected.
But what makes others want to be around us?
If we’re talking to someone and:
- Aren’t sure what to say
- How to act
- Scared of rejection
We don’t know how to handle these situations, and close ourselves off to the potential of success.
We have the power to say the right thing in any situation – why don’t we?
Like other things, when we don’t know the formula, we doubt any choice we think.
Confidence comes from knowing what we do will work.
This means knowing the core of successful communication.
We’ve all had someone else be successful, tried the same thing, and couldn’t understand why they got success.
We watched them, but with so many things going on, don’t understand the core of what’s creating success.
Seeing charismatic people on the surface, we notice differences:
- Oprah Winfrey is energetic and engaging.
- Steve Jobs appears calm and dramatic.
- Bill Clinton appears articulate and warm.
But what’s the “x factor” which makes one person successful and not another?
Charisma is the power to connect with others – there is no “default” way to do this.
There are many personality types, but charisma is always summed up in 1 word:
We have 2 parts to energy which physically extend our personality outward to others.
As we develop these 2 traits, we distill the essence what allows one person to connect with another – energy.
1. INFLECTION. Imagine just one note over and over – it gets boring fast.
When you speak, do you project a “rainbow”, or the same note?
Imagine running your hands up and down a piano – be creative.
2. EXPRESSION. Imagine a cartoon character – smile, grin, expression, and voice.
The first step is discovering the most powerful expression of yourself.
Basically, be unafraid to express yourself – but first you must find yourself.
Here’s how we start crafting a core personality.
Find someone who represents your ideal self:
It can be James Bond, Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs – whoever – study this person carefully.
Notice the unique way they express these 2 traits – If they have a nice voice, practice speaking like them.
This won’t happen overnight, and requires some trial-and-error.
But like learning any skill, once we master this it’s permanently life transforming.
Practice in the mirror – train yourself look, think, feel, act as your perfect self.
As we practice, there are only 2 things we must know to be successful:
1. What mental beliefs stop us from being ourselves.
2. What action must be taken to destroy these limits.