We know starting and keeping conversations going is easy – most people do it effortlessly.
But when we don’t know how to do it, and are confused about what to do, we get stuck.
The most common excuse is:
“I don’t know of what to say.“
But we never learn why we don’t know what to say.
The truth is we always have something to say:
I could talk about this computer screen, the sky is blue, the feel of my fingers on the keyboard – what stops me from saying whatever I want?
Fear – but fear of what? What’s controlling our action?
We aren’t being ourselves to be ourselves – we’re desperate to please others, and addicted to needing a specific response.
We desperately crave a “rejection-free” line which guarantees success – and since it doesn’t exist, we might spend hours or weeks searching, only to come up empty handed.
Our biggest stumbling block to success is we don’t understand the source of the problem:
Instead of focusing on saying what we want to say, we’re obsessed with avoiding pain, rejection, how to please others, and make sure they approve.
It’s not saying nice things, compliments, or flattery – it’s doing what works – applying proven real-world [not imaginary ‘sounds nice’] strategies.
The second question is, do we have the potential?
In certain situations, when we’re free of fear, we can talk for hours:
We all learn to walk, talk, read, write, swim – others don’t have some magical “conversation gene” we lack.
But to be successful, we must train any muscle – that includes our mental muscles for performing tasks.
But like exercise, if we train wrong, and don’t see results, it’s hard to imagine ourselves ever successful.
Successful people have one thing we don’t – they’re fearless – they dominate reality.
Successful people never worry what others think – they’re the ones everyone follows.
Here’s the why we don’t succeed:
If we grow up learning Chinese with bad grammar, we’ll express our potential to speak incorrectly, then blame ourselves for not being good enough – our training is poor.
No matter how hard we try, we can’t succeed if we learn using the wrong instruction.
Today, with non-stop texting, messaging, and communication – most people are social experts – but what’s the formula?
We’re as powerful as the person next to us – we need to learn the most powerful way to express our potential at its full capacity – here’s a quick starter:
All interesting, entertaining, and engaging communication share 2 things in common:
1. Speed. When we focus too long our attention span gets bored.
Don’t drag out what you say – jump from one topic to the next.
2. Simplicity. All popularity thrives on stimulation of emotion.
Focus on speaking in stories and nouns (people, places, and things).
Consider why texting is by-far the most popular form of communication – it follows these laws flawlessly.
An example would be:
“I walked down to the store, past the elevator, the man kicked me out. I forgot my eggs in the Taxi.“
Quick, simple, engaging – watch people on talk shows, or outside – begin observing success in action.